2022-06-12
That night. At the bus. Was a pleasant experience.
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| Bus scenery at night |
I could say that I’ve been living long enough to know that life is not a straight and smooth road, sometimes, there will be a hole, traffic, or a roundabout that makes you think about which way you need to choose.
There were a lot of sad emotions pushing me down, forcing me to make different decisions and see the world differently. I once remembered that I have read an article about emotions, that emotions change how we think — emotions are very convincing, and they can alter our beliefs about the world, especially how we see ourselves.
I was left with an option; to resist — yes you can! but it takes a lot of effort, depending on how the strength of the sadness is — or just to let the emotions wreck me. Of course, as a man, I mustn’t let those emotions wreck me, or that is what I thought back then. The thing is, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter whether you’re a man or a woman, it doesn’t matter whether you are in your pre-teen or in the teenage phase. It’s always okay to accept our emotions and accept the changes.
So it’s okay to feel sad all the time? No! Acceptance does not mean what is currently happening is okay and it’s right but rather acknowledging that it’s the state of reality. The more you take care of yourselves — enough sleep, eating regularly, exercising, changing your surroundings — the more energy you have to take control of the emotions that pushes you down.
The way I dealt with these emotions is to take a walk in the park — changing my surroundings. The fact is, before going to the park, I need to take a bus because the park is like 10 miles away lmao. But I still do it anyway, because I know, it’s better rather than just spending time in bed all day. While on the way coming back from the park, I always remembered this night. Riding the same thing, I was at rock bottom at that time.
I was plugging my earphone into my eardrum, opening my music player, and shuffling the playlist I’d made beforehand. Then, this particular song is playing — Luv Sic Part 3—and I used to remember that I was in awe the first time I listened to the song. The chorus especially has a special heart in my heart, it goes like this:
Whenever you are feeling blue keep walking and we can get far Wherever you are
As I walked out of the bus at the bus stop. This lyric makes me realize one thing — no matter how hard things have been for me, I need to keep walking. I started alone. I cried alone. I failed alone. I will succeed alone. I shouldn’t have to feel guilty about how I feel towards someone. My feeling will always stand independent despite how we relate to each other. I shouldn’t have felt guilty about feeling disappointed, angry, sad, or hurt by someone who’s close. My feelings are always valid.
Happy Men’s Mental Health Month.